head or heart???

everywhere i go, everywhere i sit, everywhere i stand, everytime i sleep, everytime i'm alone i will see it...
in fact it happened almost 24 hrs...
i've always wanted the same...
exactly the same...
in fact i wanted more...
my heart said "go for it!!"
i almost followed my heart...
but...
backed out at the last minute...
because the head said "no!!!"
and also because i don't dare to...
so how??
when will that courage come???
when will i listen to my heart instead of my head???
how long will i stay like this???
im freaking tired already...
but thinking of the cons instead of the pros make me stay like this...
why am i so pessimistic???
why am i so scared when that is what i've always wanted???
haiz...
i don't know laa...
sooo freaking many questions but no answers at all...
sadded...


t.t.f.n.